Hi it’s Alex Sia and I'm going to reveal to you one of the biggest mistakes that I've made when I was going up on dating with women or day game as we say it. If somebody would take me back about five years ago and told me this one technique, it would shave around to be about a year of my learning curve.
It would save me a year of toil and error if somebody told me this one technique. You see five years ago, I didn’t have a coach or mentor. In fact I had nobody. I want to actually go out on the day by myself. I had friends of course but none of them would actually join me because they were too scared of approaching women especially during the day. So I would go out and learn while the hottest skill as you can possibly learn and what’s to make it worst is also learning it by myself but I realized one thing. And then as you should always have a coach always. This is one of the hottest goals as you can learn but the pale is absolutely enormous. But if you have a coach to guide you in the right direction then you move a lot faster. As if you think about what will the major fault leaders or the major sports task about time like for example Tiger Woods. Who has been named one of the greatest goals for sport of our time? One thing that he has in common to Michael Jordan to some of the other massive sports stars out there is they all have coaches.
They want to master their art, they want to perfect their craft then they always need to be better. I like you to talk to you a better book that I read is by Dale Carnegie and you probably heard about it. It’s called “How to Win Friends and Influence People” and I'm a sort of a self-help junky. I'm always reading a book I've always got a book on my head or a book pile on the bed and I'm always learning something. I'm always perfecting something. And one, what it means as you suppose you mention this how to get people to like you is by being a listener. So opening up and listening to people because if you think back on a lost compensation that you’ve had all the way with the friend, the colleague or spouse or even a loved one.
If you think back, and they were telling you a story, were you present in the moment of listening actively to the story or where you are in your head relating to that story with your experiences or with the funny stories of your own. And then when you’re waiting to jump in and told you learned story. So you find that a lot of people that listen to you would talk to you or actually not really listening to that just in their own head. Try to think the same better the same and five years ago when I trying to approach women I use to just ask questions because I thought that was the way to get her attracted to me. Have you ever ask the goal what you ultimately find attractive in a man because you probably give me some generic answer. Something like it’s going to be funny; it’s going to be confident. Just go to you with his-, he’s going to be a nice guy.
Right then when. Somebody who fits that profile exactly like 100% exactly, he comes along and talks to a- she actually turned off right; she’s repulsed by it. So just go to show the women don’t really know what they want, what they say isn’t necessarily what they mean and what they find attractive to. During the day, it’s all wrong. It’s completely opposite especially during the day. I found that if you do want to get to go attracted to you is not really 50:50 compensation. It’s not really you’ll be asking questions and then here responding and talking about yourself. Is’ more like 80:20. It’s just more like you talking 80% of the time and getting a 20% response from her if he likes you.
So the two of 80% of the time, you need to have more than compensation’s not over paid. So you need a paper pad; you would need a compensation that I need. We need a few stories of the woods; you need a time structure in place to get you in the door and to put your best foot forward. If you think about it, you have a social surfer right now. You’ve got friends to hang around you and like you for specific reasons.
So let’s say it for example that the reason I like you is you’re trusting, you’re charismatic and then you’re funny, you’re confident, spontaneous. And the thing is, it took your friends maybe a couple of weeks or a couple of months live in years to realize that you have those constraints but that’s the reason why they’re drawn to you, they are attracted to you as a friend because you have those strengths. And if you go, you just met in a borrow during that day and you let you have those traits and she too would b attractive to you. However, she’s not going to spend a week with you. She’s not going to spend a month if you select to spend it a year trying to find out about those traits so that’s why you have to put your best foot forward and then show us those about a time. You have to convey the way as soon as you can all these attractive qualities that you have. You have around three minutes to this.
This is the way the game gets interesting you have about three minutes to convey or does it attract your traits you have to get here interested in you. So you earn the first three minutes. It’s all about you that should be 80% you and 20% here.
And my second better of ask to you is to take action. Go out and take some action. It doesn’t have to be massive action just some action. So you don’t have to go out there and do five a purchase right now. Just move the step closer, just take a baby step and it could mean going out if that’s the stage you’re after a quit means just collect the all information. It could mean subscribing to somebody’s newsletter. It could mean watching some pick up videos take the first step. So just imaging you are on the death bed many years from now, would you rather look back and regret assuming this skill and not making it as suppose to not pursuing at all and the give you a try? Step outside your comfort earning and give this a try just take a mix step.
I hope this audio has helped you. My name is Alex from succeedthedating.com. I hope you do go out and you do take some action. And just remember there is nothing to be a massive action just some action.
Transcription by:
Scribe4you Transcription Services