Hey how are you doing? Welcome to the show. Today we’re talking pizza, and I hate pizza in California. Did you get that? Because nobody out here knows how to make pizza. And I’m going to prove it. The best way to do that is to do a pizza taste test. So what we’re going to do is we’re going to three major chains, and we’re going to pick up a pizza, we’re going to bring it back to my kitchen and we’re going to analyze it. It’s going to be great. Just hang in there. Let’s do it.
Before we do out first test, I want to tell you a little story. The last time I went to Pizza Hut which is our first test, ok, I had a spot, that big on my pizza had no cheese, no sauce. It was bare completely. I called the lady up. I’m like, “Hey what’s up with this? I get a whole bare spot on my pizza. There’s nothing on it”. And she’s like, “Oh we’re sorry sir. Sometimes it bubbles and it moves around, the cheese does and everything”. Everything moved? Are you kidding me? So I took it back. I got my money back. This pizza here that I’m about ready to show you cost me 15 dollars. It’s just a large pepperoni pizza. 15 bucks, let’s take a look.
Now this is exciting. I’ve wanted to do this video for quite a while. This is called Pizza Hut. Some of you may not live near one but it’s nationwide. Most of us know who they are. Alright, so this is a large pepperoni. I’m going to do pepperoni on every place I go, ok. Now as you can see it’s not quite a large, I don’t know how small that is, this used to be a medium when I was a kid, alright, but this is large. So what we’re going to do is, and it doesn’t look too bad. I see a lot of pepperoni. I’m pretty happy with the amount of pepperoni, but let’s take a look at, let’s take a piece right here. Ok, take a nice piece here and we’re going to analyze this piece. We close the box. I’m going to put it up here. Alright so this is what I see. I see lots of pepperoni, that’s good for me alright. We’re going to take a look and see how much cheese there is, ok. What I’m going to do is I’m going to peel back the cheese and, oh well does this little pizza I guess. I want to see how much cheese is really on this pizza. Alright forgive me for dissecting the pizza on the screen but this is going to show you how much cheese they basically put on a pizza. Ok, now, the 15-dollar pizza, right? 15 dollars, this is what amazes me. Ok, look at this. This blows my mind that I get, there you go. That’s all the cheese on that slice. That’s my pizza. Alright now, let’s look at the sauce. Ready? I’m just going to take the sauce off here because pizza always has have pizza sauce. Alright, and I’m going to show you the little bit of sauce. That’s how much cheese, that’s how much sauce, and here is all my pepperoni. We’ve analyzed this, right? Now look at this. This is all dough. All bread, it’s not even cooked all the way, ok, which is really nasty. That’s all bread. All you’re doing is buying dough. That’s all you’re getting. You get a drop of sauce. You never get plenty of sauce, and this is pathetic. That’s pathetic. This was adequate. 15-dollar pizza, I don’t think so. This is the garbage we get in California. Let’s move on to the next one.
Ok, test number two, Papa John’s Pizza, been around for 25 years. Here we go. Take a look. Alright so what I see is plenty of pepperoni, except in the center. But it looks good. I’m not too picky about pepperonis, as long as they put enough on. I don’t want like three pieces spread out all over. Let’s grab one of these slices. Let’s see which one should we do. Let’s do this one back there. Alright, got a better feel to it? We will find out. Alright, so let’s take a look. We’re going to take the pepperoni off first. We’ll try to save some of the cheese, ok, that piece comes off. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Yeah, well at least you know it’s a hot pizza, and I didn’t, haven’t sitting around, I just picked it up myself. Ok, a little bit cheese there and there. Ok, so there is the cheese. Alright, now let’s pull off the, the suffering I do for videos. Ok, give me the fork. I will pull the cheese off. Wow, this is nasty looking. If you look at it, it’s just damn, like no cheese. If you’ve ever been to Chicago or New York, they’re piled with cheese. I mean if you’re going to give me a little bit of that dough just to make it look a little better, wow, now if you look, there’s like no more cheese on that pizza. Alright here’s one more piece swimming. I don’t want to neglect the task. Alright, and then sauce, there we go. Get all the sauce, all the gallons of sauce, there it is. Alright, I want to back the camera up there. That’s a pretty big portion, no I’m just kidding. I’m just kidding. There’s your sauce. That’s all the cheese we have. That’s even less than Pizza Hut. And Pizza Hut gave me more pepperoni, and Pizza Hut was horrible. But this pizza only cost me 10 dollars and it’s not worth it. That is just ridiculous. Let’s go to test number three.
This is test number three. Lot of you have Costco and Costco is really famous for its pizza. People love their pizza, so, and I’ve really enjoyed their pizza over most of the rest, but then, you know what, let’s find out how they did today. I just went and picked this up from my local Costco. Let’s take a look. Oh boy. Boy, boy, boy. In fact this looks to be the worst of them all. Look at this. I don’t even see this but it’s burnt here, here, here. Burnt, burnt, burnt. Ouch! This is like not enough pepperoni over the whole thing, but alright, let’s take one that does. Let’s do this one here. Ok, once again, they’re all coming out about the same. But this one looks really bad. This is like, oh hold on a minute. I want to show you this. I’m putting this back here. Ok, I’m going to bring this a little closer. Can you see that spot right there? Look at this. There is no cheese there, whatsoever. That is just bread. That is absolutely horrible. So we have burnt, no cheese, look at this stuff. This is just all bread again. Alright, now let’s do our regular test, but I just wanted you to see that. That’s what I’m complaining about. How can you make a pizza with no cheese? Absolutely no cheese. Let me just grab a regular, I don’t even know where to go. Let’s try this one. We’ll try this slice right here. Alright the box is bigger and the pizza’s bigger but who wants a bigger pizza, burnt, no cheese pizza? You know what I’m saying? Alright, so here is our piece. We’re going to take all the pepperoni off. This piece is one, I lied, there’s half of one. There’s the other half of one. There we go. Here’s half of another, one more like a quarter, and then a piece. I’m trying to keep the cheese together so that we can at least analyze the cheese. Alright so there’s your pepperoni, one more piece over here. I’ll just get it off the cheese. There we go. That’s the piece I usually get, this pepperoni. Now, let’s do the cheese. Is there any cheese on here? Or that’s just burnt bread? Ok, here we go. Oh, yeah, no that’s cheese alright. Yeah, that’s cheese. Alright we’re going to take off the cheese. This is the cheese. Alright, and there’s the cheese. It probably would have been half bad, oh and let’s get the sauce. Let’s get, ok, well the sauce is off. Alright, not really sure where the sauce is. That’s your pepperoni, that’s your cheese, it’s burnt, and that’s your sauce. And this pizza costs 10 bucks.
There’s your test. I don’t even know what to say. I won’t even line my bird cage with this. This is the biggest waste of money ever. What a bunch of garbage. Alright well, there’s our test. Hey do me a favor. Send me an email. It’s on the screen below, or you could follow me on Twitter. We’ll see you next time. Thanks for watching this show. But before you go, let me tell you about my line of sauces. It’s called The Best Barbeque Sauce You’ll Ever Taste. It’s delicious. And if that wasn’t enough, we made a hot one. There it is. Hooo, it’s good. Hey check out The Best Teriyaki Sauce You’ll Ever Taste. I got that too. Bam! Right there. And if you want more, I get The Best Gourmet Seasoning You’ll Ever Taste. Mm-mm-mm. Look at that baby. Check it out at thebestsauces.com. I’ll be there waiting for you. See you there.
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