Is it possible to have a positive, healthy divorce? I am Lee Rosen for the Rosen Law Firm. Thanks for watching. Divorce is difficult, but it is possible to turn a bad situation into a growth experience. At a minimum, we can learn from the mistake we make it and the things that don't turn out the way that we had hoped.
With the right mindset it's possible to grow from something is painful as a divorce. I have got seven steps you can follow. None of them easy to helping you turn divorce into a growth experience. Seven steps.
Step one. Except the reality of your situation. You may not want a divorce, but if it's happening, it's happening. Now what you need to do is move on acceptance is a key part of turning this experience into something more positive. I am not suggesting that this will ever be easy, but it's critical. You can't spend the rest of your life asking yourself, why?
Step two, manage your emotions. It's normal to be on a roller coaster of emotion fear, anger, grief, regret, guilt, they are all as normal as can be as you adjust to the new reality. But you can't ride that roller coaster for long. It's essential that you get yourself under control. If you don't you will find you will find yourself getting sick, not sleeping, making bad decisions. Do something that allows you to hit the reset button for your life. Get yourself under control, do what you have to do to manage your emotional state. Start thinking about your life going forward. It's going to be okay. Things are going to workout for you.
Step three, start finding ways to make yourself happy. If you are feeling bad about yourself, then go do things that you are good at. Get some positive feedback. If you are feeling lonely then join a group check out www.meetup.com to find some friends, make a plan to get yourself back on track, address the things that are bringing you down or keeping you from getting back on track with your life.
Step four, spend time with your family and friends, go visit your siblings your parents, cousins whatever. Renew relationships go out and do things, make a list of your friends, call and arrange for dinner or a movie. Spend time with people, share your issues. You are going to find that your family and friends will do more than you ever thought possible to help you.
Step five, get your financial house in order. Figure out where you stand financially and develop a plan to manage your money. Prepare a budget sell some stuff if you need cash, get a part time job if you are following short, take an full and take at action to get your finance straight, don't just wait to see what happens.
Step six, decide how you are going to interact with your former spouse. If you have kids then you know you will be dealing with one another for a long time. Start setting the ground rules. Start practicing and figure out what works. You know some communication approaches that don't work you need to find those approaches that do. I am sure there are some that worked during the marriage. Put those to work now. It's time to start navigating toward a new form of communication that works after divorce. It takes time, it takes practice, but you will develop a new style that's affective.
If you don't have children you may still need to communicate about other issues like dealing with real estate or other property. Figure out what works and and what doesn't by moving on in your own mind, it will open the door to new approaches to communication that aren't all wrapped up in the old relationship.
Finally, step seven. Make a plan for your future. It's time to start thinking about tomorrow, what you want for your life, how do you want it to look? This is your chance to put together a future that meets your needs. Think about what matters to you and what you want to accomplish. Look forward and not backwards think about things you have comprised on, the things you have differed in the past, think about the dreams you have enacted on yet. Now is your chance. Figure out your plan.
Divorce is difficult, but it doesn't have to be the end. It can be a new beginning, a fresh start. Use your divorce as a learning experience. Move forward as a stronger smarter person. Learn the lessons of your divorce and put them to work for you. For more information visit our website at www.rosen.com I am Lee Rosen for the Rosen Law Firm.
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