Hi, this is Francisco Bujan from vitalcoaching.com. I am answering some of questions and the topic for this video is “How to reach my Goals without the Approval of Others”. This is the wake up your power question. It is another one which is very important, a very good one. I would like to give you a bit of a power boost and few more ideas.
Okay, when you need the approval of others, these others that you are talking about most of the times, they are quite people, who are close to you. It probably can your husband or wife, if can be somebody who is very much near on you. It can be somebody on your family, it can friends, it can be colleagues or co-workers or simply neighbors or people you interact with, who are not really part of your direct social network, but who might have a little bit of influence on your life.
So, the first thing is to identify exactly, where the resistance comes from. When you said you are not getting the approval of others, what you are saying is that you feel resistance coming from specific resources and if you write down exactly where those specific resources are you. We noticed that it is quite simple and usually it is one, two, three people or three persons maybe who are resisting your mood. So, who exactly is resisting and who is not supporting your goals? Once you identify, who these persons are? You stop trying to convince them.
Okay, you do not come up with new ideas trying to make them validate you or what you want to reach. What you do is simply, you accept their opinion, but you simply still little bit more away from them when it comes to talking about your goals and directing them. What is very important is that in your social society or maybe even on mine, maybe here, on this video. You will often find support in places where you do not expect it. This is exactly where you want to look for support and energy reach you goals. If you have certain goals, which are very important to you, it is important for you to keep on forming them and focusing on them.
So, do not let your direct circle, are people who around you stop you. It is important you have a life. You have your right from some determination. You have the right to focus on what you want in your existence and there is no reason to stop me that.
So, look for a supportive work. Look for the people, the sources of energy, which are really sponsored in your steps and giving you energy, rather than taking it away from you. And this happens to anybody, right? No matter what you do in life, you will notice that certain people and persons are going to validate you. Some others are going to put you down. And if you want to win this battle, it is about to realize who is on your side and who is not. Some people might be neutral, right? If it is your direct family, you are talking about, for instance if it is your husband, I know that you are a woman, so I would talk to you directly in that way. If it is your husband or partner, my partner that you are talking about, who is resisting your steps or if it is somebody who is very close like a son or daughter or a family member, mother or father, brother, sister, these kind people who are very close to you then you have to understand why they resist your change.
Suppose it is your partner, suppose it is your husband or boyfriend or partner, if it is the case, most of the times what they are saying is you are changing. You are taking steps into your future. You are doing something different. It is going to challenge you, because it forces me to change. It forces me readapt to a new you. If you take for an instant financial risk by getting into a new business, these financial risks are going to impact on your partner. So, therefore your choices are heading a very strong impact on the person’s life.
Most of the time if it is your husband for instance, you decide to take a trip, you decide to travel, you decide to meet a whole lot of new people then, these choices are going to have an impact. So what you need to do when you feel resistance from that side and of course it is important to have your partner on you side. It is to tell them, you tell them first that they can totally trust you. That you are not going to do anything stupid.
Okay, so for that you need to trust yourself as well that is a very important thing. But most of the times, what they need is they simply need a little bit of reassurance, do not worry. It would fine. Then at this time you do not need so much validation from them specifically. They do not want to give it. That is simply found on the sources of support. These five sources of support, I think it is a very good strategy, start looking for them.
Take care and have a great day. Bye-bye.
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