Jennifer: Hi, we are back again with our good friend Paul Carlson. He is a life coach here in Dallas Texas, and over the next few videos we are actually going to try to answer some of your toughest questions in a way that its non judgmental ,and just kind of our normal -- how do I want to say it? In a way that only we can do it.
Dan: Yeah, that works
Jennifer: This questions is from confused. Dear Dan and Jennifer --
Dan: I sometimes feel that I am confused.
Jennifer: Sometimes?
Dan: Sometimes.
Jennifer: We all do sometimes. I am confused that my date is attracted to me or wants to be friends. She is a bartender, just got here masters, and is 20 years younger than me. Our first date, she bought new shoes and a bag. Our second date, she bought a whole new outfit. Maybe she is trying to impress me, maybe she is trying to impress others, or and you know one thing I didn't mention, she is a bartender at Hooters, and that says she only has orange short and tank top. I am unsure if she is sending me signs that she is attracted to me. She did give me a hug at the end of our first date, but I think it was because I gave her a gift. It was a can opener, that's a long story. I want to hear that story, and this was in the forms too, so you better go back and tell me the story about the can opener. She thought it was funny and gave me a hug. So what do you think? Does she like him or not?
Paul Carlson: That's a definite maybe and that's final. I don't know.
Jennifer: I can't tell by that neither--
Dan: They are going on a date. She is not like your best girlfriend, right? I mean, they are going on a date, they keep going on dates.
Jennifer: So what's this deal with buying new outfits every time? My sense is she likes to shop, but, I mean is there something else behind that, because he is older, maybe she feels the need to impress him -- I don't know.
Paul Carlson: I am going to be real direct here, I am not a young men anymore and it's real hard, even at this age to figure women out. Actually it's hard to figure out anybody in the sense of knowing their motivations, unless you just ask them. Okay? So if you really like getting into this woman, if this is something that you really want to pursue and take further, ask, would you like to go out on another date? If she is interested, she will go. If she is not, she won't. The age thing usually doesn't make a lot of difference to a lot of people today. So it's nothing.
Dan: People are doing stuff like that.
Paul Carlson: Yes, but --
Jennifer: and the older you get, the less it matters.
Paul Carlson: Correct.
Jennifer: That's our true sense. Alright, the older you get, the less it matters.
Paul Carlson: Yeah, and so the thing is, if it's really getting into the part where it is bugging you, if she is still going out with you, obviously there is something going on.
Dan: Exactly.
Paul Carlson: If she is not going, if she declines without giving a reason or explanation, like, oh, I have to work that night or something like that, and she really is working, if she is not interested, believe me she will let you know, but buying things and wearing different clothes, you can't really figure out the motivations on that.
Dan: Basically, if she says, I got a headache again, I got a headache again, and I got to wash my hair again, if she stops going out with him, I would think there there is problem, they are going out. They are going out on date.
Jennifer: They had two dates already.
Dan: I think she is really hung up on the age difference, and that's what's really confusing.
Paul Carlson: Yeah, and let's use a little bit of insecurities. Anyway, you hold it as a ego stuff, anything that comes being fear based is ego. Okay, and the big thing is get over it. There's a lot of women out there, don't worry about it, you will find somebody.
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