Ask Dan & Jennifer
Sex, Love and Dating Advice
From the Most Popular Couple Online
Jennifer: “Dear Jennifer, my boy friend has a fetish for rough hard sex. He will squeeze, thrust and even strangle me. Is that a fetish or is it something more?”
How Rough is Too Rough?
Dan: Fetish? Yes.
Jennifer: He always thought rough sex was fun until I figured out I liked it harder.
Dan: We weren’t going to go there.
Jennifer: Just kidding. I’m just kidding.
Dan: Okay, look, the big thing is, does he like it and you're thinking “Oh my god, this guy is so weird” or you're thinking, “Oh my god, I cannot believe I liked this, but damn it’s hot.” You know, again the consenting adults—
Jennifer: It’s too bad we don’t talk about our sex lives because there’s such a good story around this.
Dan: Oh my god!
Jennifer: Okay, keep going.
Dan: Yes about our friend of a friend. I remember now.
Jennifer: Yes, I know a friend once, okay.
Dan: Okay, so the big thing is, consenting adults and you both enjoy and nobody gets hurt. It’s all okay. Are you both enjoying it? If not, then it’s no good.
Jennifer: Yes.
Dan: I don’t that it really helps, “Oh, its’ a fetish.”
Jennifer: So you’ll—I don’t know.
Dan: No it’s not missionary position, it’s different, okay.
Jennifer: It’s different, if it’s—I don’t know, I’ve just never thought that rough sex is a fetish.
Dan: Although it is largely a mental exercise.
Jennifer: It is. It could it be a fetish? I don’t know, what do you guys think? Is rough sex a fetish? I don’t know.
Dan: Rough sex and a little strangulation between, is that a fetish? And I’m, we’re not by any means encouraging that, and speaking of which, as fixation, strangling.
Jennifer: No, I think the whole is fixation strangling thing could be a fetish. If that’s the one thing that you’re focused on and that’s it, then yes, that’s a fetish. Could be an obsession, it could be dangerous if you’re not careful.
Dan: And that’s where we’re going for. As fixation strangling can be very dangerous. Cutting off regular blood flow to the brain is a very dangerous thing.
Jennifer: You can hurt you throat.
Dan: Not to mention, you can truly hurt someone’s neck.
Jennifer: Yes.
Dan: I mean, you can cause damage in all kinds of different ways.
Jennifer: But the biggest danger there is really, you don’t want to cut off the air flow until someone passes out because that’s really dangerous. They can die.
Dan: Not encouraging this but lots of people do it. If you do it, do it very cautiously and sparingly, not something you do all the time.
Jennifer: That’s our big thing, consenting adults and nobody’s getting hurt. Okay, we cannot draw the lines when there’s a possibility that you can die. Okay, no orgasm is worth that.
Dan: No, that’s just no good. I mean, you know lift orgasm another day I always say.
Jennifer: Thank you. I’ll take one everyday for the next 20 years, that’s may be not quite as intense as that one that killed you.
Dan: Hell and awesome one every other day will be good.
Okay, so, that’s it, just be safe, be smart and everyone needs to feel safe. You know, if you’re still wondering “Oh my god, this guy’s may be psycho.” Then it’s not for you. You guys may simply not be matched in this one.
Jennifer: Yes, he’s playing rough and you don’t want to, that’s a whole different deal, okay.
Dan: The whole consenting thing just went out the window, that’s bogus. No way.
Jennifer: That’s abuse, that’s rape, that’s a lot of things, okay. If you're okay with it, it’s good. If you're not okay with it, leave.
Dan: Absolutely.
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