Lauren Taylor: Hi, my name is Lauren Taylor and we are working on learning some skills for self-defense. Now we are going to talk about understanding violence against women in self-defense in the big picture. A lot of people think of self-defense as what you do if you're walking down a dark alley and someone jumps out or you are walking down the street and someone jumps out from the bushes and they try and rape you and well self-defense does deal with those situations, I think the self-defense is a much more holistic thing. If anything you do to stop any kind of violation in your life, whether its harassment, emotional, mental, psychic, spiritual violation of any kind and it's not just what you do to stop it but it's also what you do to prevent it and it's what you do to recover from anything that you have already experienced.
Now, most attacks on women and girls, in particular, are by people we know and in sexual assault and rape situations it's well over 70% are by people that we know, so we spend a lot of time emphasizing verbal interactions, how to deal with someone when all they are doing to you is talking but they may be violating your boundaries in someway and what they are saying or how they are talking or how they are standing too close to you or whatever. So even if it's a stranger who attacks you, the chances are it starts with the words. Very few attacks just start full on with a physical attack. So, we want to spend a lot of time working on how to deal with a verbal situation when it's just words because that can give you practice and also maybe able to help you stop something before it becomes physical.
Because most attacks are by people that we know, words are the first tool that we have. Now the tools in self-defense I really think of them as tools in your toolbox, they are just choices. You already do things everyday to keep yourself safe, we are going to add to those tools but only you know in a situation which tools to pull out and try. There are however some general strategies and statistics that can help you make a decision about what to do in different situations. If it's a property attack, they want your money, your watch, your jewellery, your knapsack, your purse, your car, your cellphone. Most of the time they have a weapon, approximately 55% of the time they have a weapon. If your bottom line is your safety, which I hope it is, the safest thing to do is give them what they are asking for.
In a personal attack, especially in a rape or sexual assault situation, resistance works more than 70% of the time. So if you stand up to a potential sexual offender whether with it be, with words or physically or by getting help, the chances are that you will be successful. That doesn't mean that you always should resist but to realize that resistance is a choice, also complying it can be a choice if you feel that's the safest way to get through the situation.
An abusive relationship is different than the other two. If you are in abusive relationship, the safest way to get out is not by doing some of the hits and strikes that we are going to teach you here today. Instead the safest way to get out in abusive relationship is to talk to someone who helps people in abusive relationships, make a safety plan so that you can be safe as possible while you are in the relationship also a plan for how to leave, if and when you decide to leave and a plan for how to stay safe after you left which can sometimes be the most dangerous period. So the most important thing if you are in abusive relationship is to talk to someone who does advocate for women in domestic violence situations.
The final thing to remember is that no matter what you do or you don't do whether you are passive, whether you are aggressive, whether you are assertive, which is the skill we are going to teach you here today, whether you make bad decisions whoever you go with, whoever you are hanging out with if they someone chooses to abuse you or attack you or assault you that is their choice, it is not your fault. The responsibility always lies with harasser, abuser or attacker. So that some general guidelines for understanding violence against women in self-defense and now we are going to talk about how to prevent harassment, abuse and assault.
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