Should You Tell Him That You Like Him? FOR WOMEN
Hi, this is Francisco Bujan from vitalcoaching.com, and we are talking about dating success for women.
The topic for this video is, Should You Tell Him That You Like Him? Imagine that you have a crush on this guy that you have been observing him for a while. Could you just walk to him and say, “You know what? I really like you. I think we are meant to be together and you are my soul mate.” Things like that. D you think that this would work? Do you think that he would actually respond to that? Is this the strategy, the best strategy to go? Or, is there another way to approach this specific situation?
So, what I want to tell you is very simple. Guys like challenge. If you make it too easy for him, usually, he will kind of take you for granted a little bit. He might loose interest because of that. So, if there is a bit of challenge, if there is a bit of mystery, it will literally add more spice and more desire to him than if you just go to him and say, “You know what? We are meant to be together. This is it, you know, I have a crush on you.” Sometimes, it might work, but most of the time, it is nicer to keep a bit of mystery alive. So, the best way to approach is to tease him, you know, to challenge him, to flirt with him a little bit, rather than simply opening up the feelings.
When you talk about your feelings, it becomes very serious straight away, right. It is like you are going to a date together and just open up and talk about it as if this was really a relationship. You start talking about us and you are asking him for a way to stand in that as well. You are asking him if he feels the same, and this usually will put him on the pressure. I mean, you can create very uncomfortable situations and less ease. He knows really how to deal with that and he already has the skills to respond to that. But, very often, most of the times, I would say, keep the mystery alive. Please do not tell him because when you tell him, what is going to happen is that you open up a lot and therefore, you make yourself very vulnerable.
Imagine when he says, “No, I am really not into you.” It might be a bit challenging, a bit devastating to hear that. So, what you want to do rather, it is to keep the mystery alive, really. Keep the challenge alive so that he realizes that, “Hey, here is this girl, there is some chemistry building up, let us see how it goes, and how it develops.” And also keep the options open at this stage. If he feels that this is too much, the relationship is too much fixed, too much a long term, and that there is a very high level of expectation on your side, then this can put him on a depression, also be really, turned off.
You have to realize that when you come to a man, and you know, you project that this desire or this expectation, even if you are very pretty, even if you are very attractive, even if you have all the skills and all the qualities that a guy requires, it might still be too much, it might still be too much expectation because it puts the responsibility in his hands, or in his life to make you happy. And, this can be sometimes too much. Again he might not have the time, the energy, and the focus at that moment to give you that. So, keep ready to things open, keep it free, and keep it fun in the first place so that chemistry build up. Once you invest this energy and this emotions and this desire to be with him, into a light connection that builds up, this is going to grow, you know, blossoming a little bit like a flower. And so, the romantics of the attraction is going to be triggered because there is play in it, rather than a fixed, security vision for the future.
The first stages of building a relationship are really about creating chemistry. It is about flirting likely; it is about connecting in a way which is light and fun. So, if you come too hard again with a high level of expectations, he is going usually to be a turned off. Remember that, it is quite simple. So, go for it! Go get him!
You take care for now and have a great day. Bye-bye.
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