Hi. This is Francisco Bujan from vitalcoaching.com and we are talking about dating a few guys at the same time. This is for women.
Getting a few guys at the same time, is this a good idea or not? If you are a woman out there, you start falling for a guy a little bit and at the same there is another one that you think might be interesting as well. Is it a good idea to stay in touch with both and date them both? What do you do with that? That is a very important question. Do you have to choose for one as soon as you start going on a date with one or the other.
I want to give you some tips on this situation and what to do with it. What is the right choice? What works really best? My advice is actually quite simple, as long that you are not committed with somebody. As long as it does not become a relationship it is okay to keep your options open and date a few guys at the same time.
For instance if you go online and you start interacting with few people, few men. You have all these profiles and it is quite natural to send messages to many men. It is actually idea even to focus just on the one guy if you do not know what his response is going to be because it creates an emotional commitment and that is the last thing you want. You do not want to commit yourself and then show it to somebody before it is clear that if you are sent towards doing that. He wants to be in a committed relationship with you. the moment you give too much without receiving back and that is the moment where you get hurt with dating.
The idea of this is to keep your options and yes it is a very good idea to date casually, lightly a few guys at the same time. two or three, that really works. Why? Because if one them is not really into you that much and you always have other options open. The moment where you get hurt in dating is the moment you start giving your life and being exclusive with somebody when in fact you do not know what he is going to do. He might be dating somebody else, he might be still be with ex and going home with his ex and he might have somebody else in mind and you are going to invest yourself without even responding to you to the same extent. That is very tricky because it creates an emotional imbalance.
If you start dating a few guys at the same time, what do you do? How do you deal with that? The first thing to realize is that during that time you are still within a casual or live dating phase and during that I would recommend, encourage you no to engage into having sex, having intercourse during that time because this creates a very different level of commitment and also it is not that safe nowadays to have too much, too many casual sex partners as well. You keep your options open. You date lightly a few guys at the same time and it does not mean that you have to share absolutely everything with all of them. You do not have to tell your whole love life stories. You can keep some mystery into your activities or dating activities.
Guys do not have to know everything absolutely everything about your life. Maybe they are not only dating and stuff. Maybe they have a light crush on somebody at work that they are not talking about or maybe they are still kind of seeing their ex in a casual way or maybe they have somebody else in mind. And they are not maybe going to tell you the whole story about that. It is very important for you to realize that in the beginning, in the early stages without lying. You do not have to unveil actually your whole life. This is a testing period where you learn to know each other and especially with online dating. It is very important that you do not commit yourself emotionally to one person. Do not become exclusive in the early stages because you can really get hurt. You have a crush on somebody and then there is not the response you were expecting and this really can be tough. You might give up on dating or together because this happens because it feels like a tough rejection. So, the idea is really to keep your options open and have access to more than one guy at the same time. You can really communicate in the right way, once you start feeling that your life is reciprocated, that you have to emotionally and start committing a little bit more to him as well, and this really works.
This will happen almost instantly if you have a mutual crush but otherwise it might happen after a few dates, a few weeks or even a couple of months dating.
I hope this makes sense. You take care and have a great day. Bye.
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