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Host: Should we try to be friends after we break-up?
Toni Coleman: Well, that's another one that’s really tough. I get asked this question a lot and I think you have to, each person has to look at this situation and make an assessment. Is this person really hoping that by my saying I would like to be friends that I'll leave the door open and that perhaps we can work back up to the relationship that we had before.
Sometimes you really don't know that upfront, and so saying to the person something like, “I am open to the idea of being friends. I just wonder if you have really thought that through. This is going to be difficult for us to be friends, because friends talk about other relationships. You would be meeting people that I am dating, is that something you think you can really handle. If you are not sure, maybe you need to think about that.”
It really depends upon the relationship. In some cases, someone breaks-up with some of the person and want things revealed or they are like, “I was having some of the same feelings. I think we made better friends.” What a great way to sort of transition then into a friendship.
Again, assessing it at least at the beginning to make sure that this isn't just another way for the other person to try it out, kind of hold on and hope that they can work back into romantic relationship.
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