Male: One seasoned chef, three random ingredients, and three tough judges. It’s time for Stump the Chef. Today award winning chef Matt Weaver will set his creative culinary skills against his toughest opponent yet. Let’s see today’s random ingredients…
Female: Kiwi, pork ribs, and birdseed?
Male Now let's play Stump the Chef.
Matt: Birdseed, please god let the judges be pigeons, I mean this stuff is so healthy hippies don’t even like it. This might be a tough one.
Male: And he is off.
Male 1: Straight out of the gates today with the kiwi fruit, Matt has taken that and peeled it, chop it and now his putting it into the blender.
Male 2: Well you know when Matt is not quite sure what to do with the ingredient he pulls out his magic tool the blender, what ever comes out is going to be a symphony.
Male 1: He is adding some salt and pepper to that now and it looks like that is garlic powder.
Male 2: Now that may be kind of grouse.
Male 1: Yeah, you know being from New Zealand the kiwi is something I hold very dear and I have never seen it paired with garlic before.
Male 2: Well what ever it is it is going to be tangy.
Male 1: You know maybe some sort of garlic and kiwi gazpacho?
Male 2: Why don’t you have an accent?
Male 1: Whenever his doing it is clear that Matt has a direction in mind today, his moving at a feverish pace. Blending up that kiwi his already added some salt to the boiling water there on the stove along with some garlic powder, prepping the ribs for the next step in the recipe.
Male 2: Matt improvises like a jazz musician riffing and bopping all over the place that blender is his saxophone and in fact, he reminds me of Charlie Parker without the smack addiction.
Male 1: And our culinary yard bird has broken out the bird seat toasting that up on the stove a little bit it looks like he added some butternut squash to that.
Male 2: Yeah you know he had a really great plan, it looked like for those first two ingredients but he is losing me here I don’t see how it is going to fit together.
Male 1: No idea were this is going salt and pepper going in there his cooking it down a little bit and adding some chicken stock to it.
Male 2: Wow! This is actually getting kind of complicated for birdseed.
Male 1: Well one thing is for sure here Matt is going to have to work extra hard here today to sneak this ingredient passed the judges, and it looks like Matt is preparing to roast of those pork ribs, throwing a little liquid smoke into the pan.
Male 2: I love ribs so much but so few people know alternatives to pork.
Male 1: And there you’d go, he was making a barbecue sauce with that kiwi adding some vinegar and corn syrup to it, he cooks that down and he is basting the ribs now.
Male 2: Like moose ribs, they’re kind of stringy but they are so robust.
Male 1: You can see the bird seed mixture there, cooked that down and spread it out into a pan putting it into the freezer.
Male 2: And Gila monster ribs are delectable except that they’re only legal in Thailand.
Male 1: You know I have to say that this is a very innovative approach from Matt today, using the kiwi as a barbecue sauce but I have my doubts, it is awfully sweet and I don’t know how well it is going to pair up with the pork ribs.
Male 2: But my favorite, the best rib ever is from a platypus.
Male 1: Now, you combine that with the kiwi and you have got a winner.
Male: Sorry to interrupt guys but its time for Matt’s tangent.
Matt: Kiwi fruit, not the kiwi bird has many names including the vine pear, the sunny peach, the Chinese gooseberry and the Melanette. Now kiwis are not native to New Zealand but actually originate in Southern China. Picked in the summer and ripe in the fall, kiwis take a long time to ripen. They actually have 10 times more vitamin C then lemons and first arrived in the West in 1953. My favorite kiwi dish is a traditional Australian and New Zealand Desert, the Pavlova marange with whipped cream and kiwi fruit, tasty, enjoy.
Male: Meanwhile, back in the kitchen.
Male 1: And Matt is now grilling up birdseed paddies?
Male 2: Man, those things would sell like hotcakes at burning man, literally.
Male 1: I never would have seen this coming, adding some honey to that along with some cilantro mixed it all up and formed them into cakes and throwing them all on the grill pan.
Male 2: Those look absolutely tasteless.
Male 1: Matt would be lucky if they were tasteless. Unfortunately, I think that they’re going to taste like birdseed.
Male 2: Well touché Mon Frère, but we can both agree this is Matt’s biggest obstacle today.
Male 1: No question about that, kiwi barbecue sauce may have been a stretch but this is just weird. Shifting his focus back to the ribs now Matt has taken those out of the oven and his preparing to baste them one more time. You know he added a little spinach to that kiwi barbecue sauce it makes it a lot greener and a lot more vibrant without really affecting the taste, nice little culinary trick there from Chef Weaver.
Male 2: How the tricky really needs is the figure out how to make the birdseed disappear.
Male 1: I have got to agree with you on, that’s definitely his biggest obstacle of the day; I have to say that these ribs are looking pretty good at this point. His basting them again what that kiwi barbecue sauce, taking them back to the oven. It looks like we’re going to be having twice baked ribs today.
Male 2: Yeah, but with that sauce they look more like twice digested ribs.
Male 1: The ribs are finished up and who does not like ribs?
Male 2: My Aunt Eugene.
Male 1: I think the birdseed cakes are a total loss. It’s all going to come down to the kiwi, Matt how are you feeling about the sauce?
Matt: You know what, this kiwi sauce I am actually pretty excited about it, it is different, real different, but it taste good. It is these Millet takes, there so healthy and good for you I don’t know if I can get around then do you know what I mean?
Male 1: Not sounding too confident and I’ve got to say that I do not blame him.
Yeah, you know today we do not have a hippy, a personal trainer or a cockatoo on the panel so Matt is going to have a really rough time with this one.
Male: It is plating time.
Male 1: Starting it out with his birdseed cakes, ling those out on the plate as the foundation for the entire dish.
Male 2: You know my Aunt Eugene is a contractor and she knows a lot about foundations and she would tell us that this is a house that is going to fall.
Male 1: You know I don’t think we should be too quick to judge, it looks like the sauce on those ribs mellowed out a little bit after being roasted, they look pretty good on top of those bird seed cakes, with a nice little garnish on top of this dish is really coming together.
Male 2: Well I hope you are right because there’s nothing that Matt can do for it now.
Male: Looks good to me, but let’s see what our judges have to say about that.
Matt: Today I was given baby back ribs, kiwi fruit, and birdseed. Actually I was given a Kinua Millet Mixture which is a type of birdseed. I turn that into a grilled cake and then I took the kiwi fruit, made a barbecue sauce with it, then braised the ribs in the kiwi barbecue sauce, and I thereby dubbed this plate the Lord of the Ribs.
Josh: Well, I don’t think I’ve ever actually thought about cooking a kiwi, I’m from Texas and normally we like our ribs a little bit smoky, maybe, you know, not necessarily as sweet, that the kiwi definitely makes its sweet. And as far as the birdseed is funky, just a little odd, I think you’re stumped.
Susan: I think it is delicious, I really like the sauce, it is ever so subtly sweet but I think it’s balanced really nice, Kinua is kind of funny thing to cook with I’ve only ever had it in sort of a cold Mediterranean salad setting and I like it like that, I like the texture I like the little bit of crunch and roughness to it. The ribs are just perfectly cooked it is not traditional barbecue but it is pretty damn good ribs.
Shannon: I think that the meat taste really good, the ribs are really well done. I like the kiwi’s sauce it sort of adds to the abstract and I’m not a big fan of the birdseed and I think also the kiwi and the birdseed are kind of a little funky together. So as much as it pains me to say this because it is right on the border I have the same Matt that you have been stumped.
Matt: Aw, shucks.
Shannon: A little weird.
Matt: Yeah it is.
Mal: Let’s see the verdict, it appears the oven was not preheated and you flamed out. Matt you have been stumped.
Matt: No kidding, I have got two words for you, bird seed, well it least the ribs were good and I have got a pile of bird cakes left but the ribs are all gone. I had fun, I always love making ribs. I hope you had fun to, don’t be afraid a kitchen. Thanks for joining us and see you next time.
Male: That is it for this episode of Stump the Chef.
All original shows all on HD from Onnetworks.com.
Transcription by:
Scribe4you Transcription Services