Talking About the Mother-in-Law

Speaker: Alright, we are back in the studio again with the authors of 'Babyproofing Your Marriage'. We have got Julia Stone and Stacie Cockrell both in here. What are you doing, are you screwing around already, they didn't start the segment yet? Female Speaker: We are restless. Clay: Okay, they are ready to face-off, because today we are going to talk about our mothers. Brad: Our mothers, our dear sweet mothers. Clay: And what in the hell did our mothers ever do to you? What is the deal with mothers-in-law and wives? Stacie Cockrell: They are different entrapments. This isn't fair. I like my mother-in-law. Clay: So she is allowed to -- at whatever time she is welcome to come any time and see -- Stacie Cockrell: Well, she lives in Arkansas. Clay: That doesn't even count. Explain to me why there is this tension between wives and their mothers-in-law. Julia Stone: We think -- what we wrote about that in the book is that -- the maternal instinct is so strong and it often overwhelms our judgment and balance and reason, we will admit that. But once you have this lioness instinct to protect and nurture your offspring for a survival, you don't give that up very easily. So the lionesses can start to have a little sparring. Stacie Cockrell: The women control the nest. The house environment is our turf. Brad: Do you understand a little more after having your own children about what your husbands' moms are feeling towards their sons as you feel? Stacie Cockrell: We both have two boys each and we are afraid of our future daughter-in-law. Julia Stone: The karma wheel. Clay: The karma wheel is turning ladies. Can you say this, do onto your mother-in-law as you want done onto you, because one of these days they are going to show up and they are going to -- what I don't understand is that, you have to know your mother-in-law is perfect because your husband is perfect, right? I mean, we know that they are great parents, because they raised us. Brad: Absolutely. Clay: So she must be an expert and should be allowed to tell you what to do. Stacie Cockrell: But sometimes mother-in-laws can overstep their bounds. Sometimes they are offer their opinions. I love the stories. This is within my family, not my mother-in-law, within the family, of, moving the plant in the kitchen and rearranging your spices and suggesting, decorating a house, different ideas for that. I mean, what is that? Julia Stone: There is turf infringement, where a mother-in-law should maintain some sort of respect, and the current mother is the one with the responsibilities, so therefore -- yes, we often welcome some opinions, but other times it should be pretty clear. Clay: So here is a question, intervene, be in between wife and mother-in-law, or just say you, two guys work it work? Stacie Cockrell: You have to run interference. Julia Stone: It's your job. Stacie Cockrell: If we say no juice and cookies after six, that relationship could be over. Clay: Really? I have got to negotiate between you and your mother-in-law every time? Julia Stone: Every time. Clay: Oh my gosh! Why don't you guys just work it out, you talk about it, figure it out? Julia Stone: How is your sex life? Clay: What? I thought we were talking about my mother, this is horrible. Stacie Cockrell: You have got to be on the same team with your wife and support her. She will take notes for later. Clay: Alright, alright. I will go and interfere. Julia Stone: How do you feel if your wife is saying, boy, my dad, insinuating that maybe her father was a better parent than you are being. Or my mom always made lasagna on Sunday, or why don't you do it like my mom did it. How do you think you would feel if your wife said that about her father? Brad: I will tell her, you go and eat lasagna with your daddy. Clay: I guess we are going to run interference for our wives. Thanks a lot in coming and talking to us about how to manage that wife/mother-in-law relationship.