Ken Dolan: Hi, wallet poppers with Ken and Daria Dolan at your service. We’re so glad you sent us your money, personal finance questions.
Daria Dolan: I love our poppers.
Ken Dolan: I look forward to this. I really, really do. We got some great, great. It’s hard to pick questions. We got so many of them, so many, many questions. Alright but you pick one. What did you do? Something about couples.
Daria Dolan: Alright. Yes. Someone wrote , I'm not going even to bring any name in to this.
Ken Dolan: Alright.
Daria Dolan: And wants to know how you can get someone to sit down and talk about financial difficulties when the person is wearing blinders. And the person falls on the emailer to Wallet Pop to handle the bills and he gets mad when I try to bring it up.
Ken Dolan: Boy I tell you that’s a tough one. I’m with the dynamite married a bunch of years and we sort of came across is really early on our marriage. And I think one of the ways we passed this hump and it’s a great question by the way. Everybody’s busy, broker statements, throw them the bureau is if you set goals, what do you want? Where do you want to get? Is it to buy a home? Is it to buy a new car? Is it to get start a five twenty nine for the kid? Is to start a retirement?
So sit down mystery wallet popper, sit down with your husband or wife or significant other. I think a good start is “Hey, we aren’t getting, we’re not making much progress here towards our goals if we cannot sit down and discuss the financial situation.” Set goals and then the discussion about money on a regular basis. Maybe it’s a weekend afternoon. Maybe it’s a once a month. “How are we doing with our goals?” I see that as a core.
Daria Dolan: The other thing I would say is because here is the problem Ken, if he gets mad, if he gets angry when she tries to bring up the subject of money. Maybe you need to get conveniently ill about the time that most bills have to be paid.
Ken Dolan: Oh, Dirty trick, Daria.
Daria Dolan: And say “You’re going to have to do it this month. I just can’t. I’m sick as a dog and these things need to go out.” Hand them the checkbook. Hand them the bills and let them see what’s going on.
But if this is not an option for you to do and he refuses to talk about this and there are some real problems there. I truly would suggest that you sit down, see if you can get him to marriage counseling. Something needs to happen. And maybe it’s just “Hon, you seem to get so angry when I try to bring up issues about money. Is there something bothering you that I could help you with?”
Ken Dolan: That may not be that.
Daria Dolan: That may not be that but stems the fear of having to face the money problems.
Ken Dolan: Our good friend Olivia Mellan has written a wonderful series of books. So I think two or three books on couples and relationships and hoarders versus savers versus gamblers. Some really, really good stuff relating to couple’s interfacing on money issues. Olivia Mellan. You can go to Amazon.com.
Daria Dolan: Good luck. But as I said, if you cannot get him to participate into discussion in all about his anger, there’s a deeper problem there. See if you can get him to open up to what that is and by all means, if not, seek some counseling.
Ken Dolan: Good question. Thanks.
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