The Pregnancy Show with Nina and Kendall
After 35
Episode # 57
Nina: We are back and now we will talk about a very important subject and here we have Barbara who has a wonderful question for us, and let's talk about Barbara.
Okay, Barbara, she says I am childless; I am a childless 37-year-old with a history of two miscarriages. I'm currently seeking to get pregnant. I believe in miracles and I'm waiting for one. Tell me about your miracle. Share the hope and the joy. How did you get your baby? I believe we all need to hear these stories and it brings everyone hope. So here you go. You have a woman, no kids, two miscarriages. She must be desperate. She must be despairing of everything.
Kendall: I believe that that's apparently why she is not getting pregnant. That is not based on any medical knowledge. Let me stress that. But I saw this happen once to a friend who desperately wanted to get pregnant.
Nina: The more want it.
Kendall: Obsessed for well over couple of years. And finally came to terms with the fact that she might not have children and she was younger. She wasn't even in her 30's yet. Came to terms with it, anyhow the long and the short of it she has four children, all fine, all healthy. Sometimes you come to the point that the preoccupation, the stress, don't underestimate what your head does your body.
Nina: It affects your whole psyche, your whole mentality. Your health and wealth.
Kendall: I don't want to minimize medical problems.
Nina: No but you are 100% right, because when I had -- my son was two when I said, okay, I'm not going to get pregnant again, and we are trying and nothing is happening. So we started to go to see doctors. We did all kinds of testing and we tried all these, ovulation test and that didn't work and this didn't work. We're trying whittle out what could be wrong. So they check off things. Well, it's not your cycle, and it's not your ovulation, and it's not your fertility. So they tried to do all these tests and figure out what was wrong and so we started with the whole process of infertility.
Let me tell you something, I was so depressed, taking drugs. When you start taking Clomate and you're trying to get pregnant that way, those are drugs. Those are hormonal drugs that affect your body, but it affects you to such a point that your every hour of -- every waking hour of the day, you are possessed with this whole thing of getting pregnant.
Kendall: But that is your whole life. That becomes everything about you.
Nina: Exactly. So you can't even concentrate on your husband, you can't concentrate on your friends. You don't want to go for lunch with the girls because this is your driving force of your life, driving.
Kendall: Well, it's your mission. Also the whole idea of romantic sex, I mean I don't want to be too idealistic here but you'd like to think you conceived your child in love as opposed to a moment of stallion and whatever, what's the other?
Nina: Yeah, it's very clinical. When you do it.
Kendall: Lady Horse.
Nina: What's that? What the heck!
Kendall: I don't remember.
Nina: I haven't ever heard of that.
Kendall: What is it? A stallion and lady horse?
Nina: I never heard of this. Is it a book you are talking about?
Kendall: Oh a mare, a mare, a mare, that's the word. Okay, it shouldn't be like such a perfunctory task where it's like --
Nina: Clinical, go do it.
Kendall: Right. No, really, really.
Nina: But I'll tell you the truth, the depression that occurs from all of this is so overwhelming and the truth is it can take over your whole life and affect you not to get pregnant more so like what we said. It causes you so much stress and you cry.
Kendall: But it's also the story of the woman who can't have babies, adopt, and then --?
Nina: They get pregnant right-away.
Kendall: They get pregnant. I think it's because that tension goes away. Don't give up.
Nina: Yeah, I remember crying every time I got my period. I crawled up into a little fiddle position into my bed and cried as if my life was over. So people will call me and say you have a two-year-old. What's the matter with you? But I want to give them a sibling. I don't want to see him growing up alone. It was just all encompassing, I am telling you. It's unbelievable.
Kendall: Don't give up, and you should believe in miracles because miracles do happen in the same birth and the event that you do not get pregnant, you can still have a life.
Nina: And still have the love of a child. The child comes into your house whether via surrogate mother or adoption or the regular way.
Kendall: Talking of miracles just before we wrap up. There was an interesting story where there was a mother of five children and she got cancer and died, and her very best friend was childless or not married and the husband of the dead woman ultimately had this relationship with this woman and they got married and she ended up and she said I felt like -
Nina: Really? Do they stay together?
Kendall: No, but she raised these five children as if they were her own.
Nina: Wonderful! Amazing!
Kendall: She already had a relationship.
Nina: And there you go. So everything do happen.
Kendall: Miracles happen in all sorts of forms.
Nina: They absolutely do happen.
Kendall: Good luck!
Nina: We'll be right back.
Transcription by:
Scribe4you Transcription Services