The Pregnancy Show - Workplace Issues

Kendall: Hello everybody. We are back and we were talking about bosses and we are still talking about bosses. So the question now is, what rights does your boss have over your life after the baby is born? Nina: What kind of question that? That's interesting. Why should he have a right over the baby's birth? It's not his baby, it's your baby. Kendall: Alright, so Rennet Mary, boss lady asked me about my breastfeeding. Nina: Oh! Interesting. Kendall: This will require glasses. Nina: Put your specs on honey. Kendall: Alright. The question, the boss wanted to know how long do I plan to breastfeed. I have not returned to work yet. So this was over the phone and she was giving the low-down on what was to be expected when I got back. Nina: I wonder how long she has been away. She doesn't see, does she? Kendall: Right back in a week. Anyway, I thought it was a strange question and she said, she was just curious enough if I was getting sleep at night, which I am not, because he wakes up and he wants to be nursed. Anyway, does she have the right to ask me that question? Nina: No. You know what, Kendall, if the baby is getting up with you, whether you are nursing or you are bottle-feeding makes no difference, because that child is getting up to eat. Kendall: For sure. Nina: So I would get up three times and I will give the baby the bottle. I nursed the first three and I bottle-fed the last three and I find that you are getting up regardless whether you are bottle-feeding or nursing. So that has no relevance to anything at work. She has not right to ask that question. Kendall: Well, you know what; I admit I would be suspicious if I was asked these questions. Nina: Yes. Kendall: Now again part of it depends on what's your relationship before the boss beforehand and I had an employee who came back to work and she came into my office everyday at lunch time. I left my office, she closed the door and she popped milk. Nina: So that's the question. Kendall: Have no bearing on the rest of her work. Nina: She is not bringing the baby to work obviously. So during the day that child is at home with the nurse or a maid. Kendall: And the baby has to be weak to some extend. Nina: Exactly, because you have to be -- Kendall: So what does it matter? Nina: So it makes no difference. Kendall: If she can get to work and she can do her job, I don't see what else any of us have to do. Nina: Well, some people bottle-feed during the day and they nurse either early in the morning or through the night and they are always -- Kendall: Also, a lot of the water keeps the milk going. Nina: They keep the milk going, but they nurse half and half. They do a little combination of both. Kendall: I am telling you I had employee. She spent her entire first six months back in my office. Nina: I am not people's darling, yeah, interesting. Kendall: I won't answer that question either. I don't think so. Okay, now what's the next one? Dory. Nina: Dory, okay. Kendall: Going back to work. Please help. My son will be -- Nina: My son will be five weeks and I will be returning to office in the next two weeks. I feel like I am abandoning him. It's really making me feel like I am a bad mother, but I have not choice in this situation, because I am the sole provider. If there anyone else been my situation, if so, please shed some light. Yes, we have all been there. I am not a single mother. Kendall: I haven't been the sole provider, but I have got to tell you something. When I went back to work after my first child and because I had this child in Canada, I was out of work for eight months before I went back and I got the baby all set up and I got him a caregiver and I went back to work. The first day I was at work and I was back to my job and all was like weird but okay and around 3 o'clock in the afternoon I had a panic attack. I had this vision that my son was not okay. I grabbed my purse, ran out of the door, and drove as fast I could. He was fine. Okay. He was doing the laundry with the cleaning lady. He was in his little rolling car thing that didn't really kind of, what is it the saw-so business, and he was fine. It's hard. Nina: It's hard. You are going back to work after seven weeks, so it's a month in change. So there is little -- it's a month-and-a-half. Kendall: I am surprised you can walk. Nina: But the truth is if you have no choice and you are the sole provider, don't feel guilty. The child will be sleeping most of the time. He will not know you are gone at this point and she has no choice. Kendall: Get the best caregiver you can find in your price range. Nina: You will comfortable knowing that he is alright. Kendall: Keep an eye on it and spend quality time with the baby when you get home. Nina: By providing for your child, you are doing the best you can for him. So there you go. You can't do anything else about it. Kendall: Good for you. Nina: Good luck, good luck and bye. Kendall: Good for you. We will be back.