The Public Potty Problem

Daddy Brad: It happens every time. Food gets to the table, you finally get the clerks attention or you get to the front of the line. Daddy Clay: “Dad, I need to go.” Daddy Brad: And then you have to deal with one of the biggest, scariest nightmares of parenting. Daddy Clay: Going to the public restroom with your kids! That’s right! This week in the Lab, we are going right into the public toilet. Daddy Brad: And since this is a dad’s site, we are going to deal with the fundamental injustice. I am talking gender discrimination between the men’s room and the ladies’ room. Daddy Clay: All right, everybody knows that the men’s room is more disgusting. We got it. Daddy Brad: I want a big-ass puffy chair in my men’s room! Daddy Clay: You know, the kind of hardware you should be asking for is a baby changing station. Daddy Brad: Puffy chair. Daddy Brad: Just how common are changing tables in men’s public bathrooms? Daddy Clay: We have come here to the classic American Strip mall to take a small and decidedly unscientific example. Daddy Brad: Okay so we went to a bank, a grocery store, a couple of casual-dining restaurants, some fast-food restaurants, a coffee shop and an office supply joint. And our findings are very interesting. Daddy Clay: Five of the nine men’s rooms that we visited of our little tour had diaper-changing stations in them. Now which really is significant is when we compare that’s the number we found in a ladies’ rooms which is not because you can’t—you can’t go in there. Daddy Brad: We are not ladies. Daddy Clay: And there are some other reasons to be optimistic about this. The good people at babychangingstations.com report that two thirds about of their selling needs diaper changing stations too are going to put them in both of men’s and the women’s rooms. So you are going to see more and more of this diaper changing stations at the restaurants and other spots near you, which is a really good thing but why not everybody? Daddy Brad: So for those of you out there that offer public bathrooms, get on the horn and order a changing station for the men’s room as well as the ladies’ room. You know, it is not only convenient for your customers that they have to take their kids in the bathroom. It also sends a message to the dads out there that you are behind them, you know, doing their part! Getting their dad on! Daddy Clay: Yes, and dads, do not be shy if you got a favorite restaurant or coffee shop or some that does not have a diaper changing station. Go to the manager and say, “Hey dude, why don’t you throw up one of those diaper-changing stations.” It is only a couple of hundred bucks and it is going to be a big help to all the dads out there. Give him a shout-out. But the real trouble starts when the kids graduate from the diaper-changing station. Daddy Brad: Oh, yes absolutely. It is kind of like this. You have your five-year-old and your two-year-old, and your five-year-old have to go to the bathroom. So you gather everybody together and you get in the stall and this whole pack like a Japanese subway station during rush hour and you got to help the five-year-old go to the bathroom and the two-year-old wants to start touching stuff and licking the stuff and just touching—it’s just crazy! Daddy Clay: That is not good. It is also bad the situation where your kids are old enough. They need to be escorted to the bathroom but they do not want you to come in the stall. They want to take care of it, so you just linger in the bathroom outside the door of the stall and then some random guy wants to come in their and take leak and suddenly you are like creepy bathroom lingering guy. “Hazel, it’s my kid. Hey, how is it going in there? Good? Okay. I am sorry.” If you guys have got a tip or trick, idea, a hack on how to manage your kids in a public restroom, please drop us a comment or go to the dadlabs.com, sign it for the community and start a discussion there. Daddy Brad: That is all for us this week at the Lab. Daddy Clay: See you next week. Daddy Brad: Happy whizzing.