You know with all the gloom and doom that’s out there, and all the sad things that we hear, and see and read nowadays. That’s why we’ll have a little fun with some of my crazier predictions for the New Year.
So we’re going to start from tango down to one, bear with me. Hope you get a left out of some of these. Maybe there’s more truth and humors that I would have even thought. But number 10 New Year prediction, there will be changes in the retail sector. Name changes starting this January, Saks, 5th Avenue is going to try and see if it does any better by calling itself Saks, 10th Avenue, but I guarantee by the end of the first quarter that name change will become sucked. Target is going to be called Targeted and Wal-Mart is going to be called Bull’s Eye.
Number nine New Year prediction, The Bank of America will foreclose on the North Pole and the United Elves Union will be seeking a government bail out.
Number eight New Year prediction, GM dealers are going to start a buy-one, get-one free sale, anything to get some money in the coffers.
Number seven, Uncle Sam, “I want you.” Well, he’s going to be replaced this year. We won’t be saying Uncle Sam anymore. It’s going to be Ben Bernanke and then instead of saying, “I want you.” He’s going to have a handful of money saying, “Come and get it.”
Tax reform, we’re going to see tax reform in 2009. We are. It is going to be the new 10 for the easiest just two lights. Number one, how much did you make? Number two, send it in. That’s all will be the tax reform.
Number five, Mexico is going to be inundated, flooded with illegal aliens, US citizens making across the border looking for work in Mexico.
Number four, the good news is there will be no more pork barrel coming out of Congress. Nope, they’re going to be just too busy running Detroit and Wall Street.
And to round up my top 10 predictions for the New Year, number three, the Treasury Department will be announcing in January that it lost the $700 billion turf fund investing with Bernard Madoff.
Number two, you know how many of us go nuts trying to sing The Star Spangled Banner. We think it’s difficult. We think we are to change it. It’s going to be changed in 2009. No longer will our National Anthem be The Star Spangled Banner. Our new Anthem will be China, Can You Spare a Dime.
And my top prediction for the New Year on an inauguration day, George Bush will still be President when Barack Obama steps up to the Supreme Court Judge, put his hand on the Bible and says, “I don’t want this job, it’s too hard.”
Happy New Year everyone!
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