Torley Talks: Secrets & Struggles
Knowledge courting among eccentrics is this terrible, terrible thing. I refer to this eccentricity as being bad which is the ministry but it is difficult because they are for everyone of course. They have a different definition but some things are more uncommon than others like for instance orange basketballs. It’s very, very common. Purple ones not so much and it’s especially ashamed when you have someone it could be you who is brilliant in making wonderful art but not sharing that hopefully and now sharing how you made it because when you die and we all do the secrets die with you.
I like to look at artists who openly not only show the work they constructed but they explained. What were their thought processes like? What were they feeling? What were the life’s circumstances that made this possible?
It inspires earlier artist because when you’re new, when you’re hungry, when you don’t have a lot of gear yet you’re like how do I get to the top of that pal if you’re truly too poor to afford Photoshop and you put up off by open source schools which I recommend at least give it a try looking to that but as an artist and especially true for eccentrics like I’ve said. The mind processes of how you unfolded, how you solve struggles and challenges it is worth it to tell others because you’ve through adversities, no doubt. Everyone is and when you can explain that part of you will feel more peaceful, part of you will feel empowered helping others going through these struggles that we all face but so few of us that I know of actually talked about.
It’s a tough thing because just like getting bullied in school. It’s so cruel and embarrassing incident string and that’s spread out and it’s a cycle of abuse and this domestic abuse as well. It’s horrible to talk out above because people look at you and they look at you like a victim and like what I say victim versus a survivor but the strength of it comes when you empower others, when you help them out because you may have suffered. You make show scars and others may have scars but not as many as you get. If you can help empower them before they become more wounded then is that not a worthy contribution to the world. I think so.
I’ve been through times in my life and it was very, very difficult and speaking of scars you may wonder what are these scars in the side of my face, it came from a time when I tried to kill myself and now just put that out there in the world and that’s a tough thing for me to see. I’ve been longing to say that for a while but now it’s open. It’s no more holding of the secret. Of course we all have a need and the desire with some sorts of personal privacy but something is in this world when you let them out there, they just don’t matter. That baggage is no longer on your back. Other people have been through the sorts of same things. They will feel and look up to you and you can talk together and together they’ll be stronger. So going back in time you may ask how could you ever possibly want to kill yourself totally.
Well, it seems back to a time where I felt very and this was not the only factor but it was a big factor. I was pressured, very much pressured by my mom and I don’t blame her alone because shaking this changed my life but I was pressured to practice classical piano. This is a very stereotypical Asian disciplinary thing, right? Play a piano and I didn’t want to do that. I want to make beats, technical beats on the synthesizer but I was forced, I was advised to play classical piano.
When I was damn good at it by the best but I was good but it’s not that I want to do. It’s not what I want to create and so through this disbanded feeling at the end calling health lines I begun cutting by myself like you see here and that’s what happened to my past but then through that, through all that pain I did become stronger. I realized what I can’t and do some things I’m still aware of it. I’m still aware of my time and my space that I have and so that’s just a splinter of the history I’ve gone through. Have you ever felt some like that. I hope you’ll benefit from it too.
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