CELL PHONE NAZIS
Speaker: Cell phones, it's not optional, you have to have them. they cost so much money, you have to sign a plan, and then you have to give them your social security number, and then you have to have a friend on your plan, literally I dumped a girl, because she wasn't a singular customer, because I only had like mobile to mobile, and she was looking for Verizon, and I was like, I am not on your top seven, and this is just not going to work. My problem is, well, I have so many problems, but my problem is I always break and lose my cell phones.
My last time, literally two weeks ago, cell phone in the ocean, went to St Monica, and I was like, oh, where is my cell phone? Turned around, I see it on the beach, and I ran to it, and a wave took it. I was like, oh, and I have over 500 contacts of peak winning important people in that phone, and a little girl ran to the ocean, grabbed it like it was sea shell, and ran away. I was like, oh my God, and I just replaced that phone five months earlier, and because I always think, it won't happen again, I never get insurance on it, and so then I have to pay the lump sum, the real price, which is like $4000.
$4000, on which organ can you depart with, and I am like, I guess this one, like next time I go, I am just going to be like, all stump, so like there is like nothing left to give to these cell phone Nazis. My phone bill so high, and they may trick you with the text messaging. My friend has even offered text -- and I am always like, hey, how are you? I am fine, and that costs me like $97, like that little like interaction. I am just going to start writing letters and sending them in the mail or like smoke signals or like birds or something or like. I will be home for Thanksgiving mom, like I just can't afford it any more, Nazis.
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