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AskDanAndJennifer.com
Ask Dan & Jennifer
Answering Your Questions on Dating Love and Sex
Today’s Question:
Can I Leave My Husband and Still Survive?
Jennifer: It is a question from Helen in South Africa. Dear Dan and Jennifer, hello, I have been married for eight years. My husbands cheated on me recently and he never showed any guilt and never said sorry. I feel so much pain in my heart. I cannot trust him anymore and he just go out everyday after work to drink. I strongly feel I need a divorced but I do not know how I will be just able to take care of my two kids. I do not have a job. My friends tell me to that to stay until I can manage on my own. But I cannot see myself surviving. I thought of having a boyfriend but I do not seem to seem to get any because may I am not longer attractive or I looked old. I am only 30 years old. I hope you can—this question takes an interesting turn. I hope you can get me a male friend who is a Christian too and in a bad relationship like I am who can take me in and love me for who I am. I want out. Please help me.
Dan: That sort of—first of all the guy sounds like a real winner a real, wow! Jumping from one really bad relationship to potentially another one.
Jennifer: Bad idea.
Dan: It is just—
Jennifer: Just do not even go there.
Dan: She is like afraid to take the real that she needs to take and just seized the situation herself and deal with it.
Jennifer: Yes, I mean basically after your choices in life. Okay, you can accept your situation. You can try to change it or you can walk away from it. I mean those are really the only three choices. So, I mean you cannot change him. He is going to be who is, you know, there is some love attractions stuff you could use to focus on to try it on improve your lives that is a different video for a different time but to know you know you cannot change him, you can accept your situation. You can be like, this is where I am, and this is how it is. I am going to choose to be to be happy, you can do that.
Dan: Yes.
Jennifer: Or you know, if you just really want to walk away and do not let your friends make this decision for you. Okay, it is one thing you take advice from your friends, it is entirely different thing to blindly do what they are telling you do. But if you really, really want to leave then you just need to make and take the step that you need to leave. You say you do not have a job. Start your own, business; do not know how to start your own business? Go to school, learn how. So, if you really want to leave you can go.
Dan: Yes, can your parents help you. You know, you sound like you are waiting someone else to rescue you. You are real person, you yourself. Seize life and do what you need to do.
Jennifer: Yes.
Dan: He is no better than you are.
Jennifer: Yes, you need to believe in yourself that is kind of underlying current here as I feel that there is a little confidence issues and you do not really believe in yourself, so it really focus and work on believing in yourself, and take this tip if you need to either accept your situation leave it.
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