Siobhan Robins: One of the key factors to ensuring a successful day is the time of the event. A person who helps keep this on track and can advice on all the etiquette associated with the wedding is a toast master.
So, Tony the speeches are very crucial part to the wedding and the enjoyable part to the wedding. What is the typical format for them?
Tony: First, speech normally should be to the bride and bridegroom, a toast to the bride and bridegroom. That’s why we’ve come. They are getting married. That’s the first speech. The first speech, the first toast usually given by an old friend of the family who knows the bride well or has known her all life and knows the groom well. And it’s such really father, doesn’t it? Not usually says father of the bride and it’s usually is but not always.
The second speech should be a thanks, a thank you or response to that particular toast not only to thank the priest who has made it, but to thank a guest for drinking it so heartily and that should come from the bride and the bridegroom.
Now you know why I said that the bride and the bridegroom invariably it’s the bridegroom but no, not always and it can be both as we have one instance when they did the in rhyme down in South Hampton. It went really well or in the case I haven’t pampered is involved when the bride got up and made the speech the groom never said a word, so that can happen.
And then we usually finished up traditionally in the ethic code of weddings the best man responding on their behalf. Again, I thought that bridesmaids do that, but usually it’s the best man. He responds on their behalf and we expect him to be a little bit funny and put a few funny and laugh for the same, but that’s little speech you’ve got to be more careful than any other. Sometimes people went up the speeches and that’s when I think they’ve got to be very careful.
Siobhan Robins: Tailored to the occasion I think that’s the key, isn’t it? That you’re doing what suits your wedding, your occasion, your family, the people who were there. Just to ensure that everybody enjoys it.
Tony: Exactly. We tend to have our speeches at the end of the meal, but nowadays, again, we’re talking to papers and when you want they look at you and say, “When can we have them?”
Now what we must remember is this if you’re going to do a speeches at the beginning of the wedding they’ve got to be very tightly controlled on time because the kitchens want to know exactly when they’re going to serve a meal, and there’s nothing worse than going to a fabulous wedding where a fabulous meal has been ruined because the speeches went on. So you’ve got to say to people, if you’re going to have the speeches beforehand make sure they are to a pretty strict timetable.
If you’re going to have a speeches that you think may go on then you’re advised to go and have at the end of the meal. I would have had those for a while. I’ve had weddings where people have done one speech after the first toast, another speech after the second, and then maybe the last speech after the third. Sometimes, the father of the bridegroom might want to say a few words and I don’t think it’s either of the way if he wants too.
What I was recommend there is I say to the best man, when you finish your speech, why don’t you go on a toast to the parents. “Ladies and gentlemen, without the parents we wouldn’t be here today, so let’s drink a hearty toast and a big thank you to the parents.” It then means that you can turn around and say, “Ladies and gentlemen, the father of the bridegroom would like to respond on behalf of all the parents.” It flows.
The other point I would always make is this, when you’re making a speech speak loudly or speak clearly but make sure the lady at the far side of the room can hear it because if everybody hears the speech it’s a good one.
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