What Is the Best Way to Help a Friend With Cancer

"Erik: What advice do you have, uh for others on the best way to help a friend battle cancer? Andrew: I guess there are two things. You’ve got to be there for them, and when they’re thinking, ‘Why me? This isn’t what I wanted for my life.” You’ve got to be there for them and say, ‘It’s okay.’ And remind them that they’re not alone both in support from you as a friend and others who may have battled the same type of cancer. It’s more and more common it seems like every year, more and more people that we know are having experiences either with family members or friends our age, so we’re not alone out there and we’re there for each other and other survivors are there to help folks and provide that support. Erik: How do you find that balance – this is something that I always battle and find difficulty with is how to balance reaching out – how to balance outreach and just also establishing presence. Andrew: I think if someone is sick, I wouldn’t worry about bothering them. I would almost want to bother them. [Erik laughs] I would want to be there for them and they can say, ‘Hey, I’m good. I’m good.’ And you can say, ‘Okay, I won’t call you for a couple of days then.’ But we were talking about my friend who was sick and when he was sick I called a lot. Sure, I heard on the other end of the line, ‘I really don’t want to talk to you right now.’ But just the idea of regular contact, reaching out regularly, staying really close during these tough times. I know for our family when we were struggling with Lauren’s Dad’s health to speak with him – Lauren and I called him every single day. ‘How are you feeling Dad?’ ‘Fine.’ ‘You’re sure?’ ‘Fine.’ So he really didn’t want to tell us how he was feeling that day but we called every single day and that’s what helped get him through it. And he said at the end, ‘Sure, I didn’t want to talk with you, but I appreciated that call every single day.’ "