What is Elimination Communication

Wendy Turner-Webster: As a nation we are responsible for throwing away billions of nappies every year. In America there is a growing trend to follow a practice called Elimination Communication; disposing of nappies and relying on your baby signals to work out when they need to wee or poo. Maggie Howell, an expert in Parent attachment techniques who has used Elimination Communication on all three of her children and she is joining me now. Hello Maggie! Maggie Howell: Hello! Wendy Turner-Webster: And this Jacob. Maggie Howell: This is yes. Wendy Turner-Webster: Now I think kind of what you mean with Elimination Communication but I can barely get my head round it, it's sounds absolutely unbelievable, just explain it to me? Maggie Howell: Okay, since time began, babies have got certain set of needs and those needs are to eat, to be warm, to be kept close to somebody, and to be able to eliminate when they need to. Fancy way of saying to wee or poo. In all parts of the world, apart from the West, up until very recently, babies didn't wear nappies, and babies don't wear nappies all over the world. But women in those parts of the world have got the instinct and the understanding and knowledge that they know when their baby needs a feed, and they know when their baby needs to do wee or poo. And so an animal, which is technically a mammal, instinctively wouldn't eliminate or wouldn't wee in their own environment. They would go somewhere away from the sleeping environment, and in the same way, from birth, a baby will clearly indicate to you when they are hungry, when they are in pain, when they are tired and when they need to do wee or poo. Wendy Turner-Webster: Now, okay. How would I know - you've done it, haven't you? How would you know when your baby needs to go to the toilet? Maggie Howell: Okay. It depends on when you start, with my first son, I started doing this when he was about four-months-old because I met somebody who was doing this. I was absolutely fascinated and I felt I wanted to follow a similar approach. So he was four-months-old, so he'd already been signaling to me for quite long time. And his signals by that point was slightly different. As a new born baby, if a baby is fed, is warm, feel safe, they are normally very still. When they start to kick or spark, or fidget, that is a very clear sign that they want to eliminate. In the same way if a toddler, when they want to go to the toilet, they are hopping from side-to-side, kicking with their legs. Wendy Turner-Webster: That's right, little jigged. Maggie Howell: Exactly, exactly and so a very young baby when they are kicking with their legs, it's a very clear sign they want to do a wee. So there is a signaling which is kicking, fidgeting, some verbal noises, grunting, I mean most parents would say, oh yeah, I know when my child needs to do a poo and that's because they are grunting and because they have been used to weeing or pooing in the nappies, they don't take any notice, they change the nappy, fine. But if you start getting in-tune with them, you will realize that from very young they will be indicating those things to you. So you've got the signaling, you have also then got timing from a very young age, you can pick up on a pattern of how often they need to wee, in the same way that you know how often your baby needs to feed. So when I started, I would literally write down the times that he would wee or poo and I would soon see a pattern build up. So in the beginning, it was about every 20 minutes. At this age now, it's every 40 minutes, a little bit more, if he had a feed. So you begin to see a pattern. Wendy Turner-Webster: Is Jacob not wearing any nappies? Maggie Howell: No, no. Wendy Turner-Webster: Alright, I see. I was getting interested. When you come out, just for practicality -- Maggie Howell: Yes, I do. Wendy Turner-Webster: You put some nappies or some pull-ups. Maggie Howell: Yeah exactly. With my first son, I didn't. With my first son I was very evangelical about it. And I was going to be, I would chastise myself if I got it wrong. I was very hard on myself which in hindsight any mother who thinks about doing this, please don't do that. Because it does take quite a lot of getting used tom it is a new way of doing things. You will get weed on, but then lots of mums get weed on when they change baby's nappies anyway. So putting that aside, and with him, I wouldn't -- I would take him to Tescos, we'd go and do wee beforehand. When they need a wee, what I do is I hold them in a certain position so they get used to that position being suited to be doing wee and I make the verbal cue, I make a sound, which is a fiss-fiss sound, and from a very young age, they will associate that sound with needing to go. So if I am going on a journey, I will take the children to the toilet, including him, I will make that sound, if he needs to do a wee, you can see his little muscles going and he will do wee. If he doesn't, he will arch his back and that clearly tells me, no mum, don't need to do one right now. And from about three-months-old, he could actively make himself wee, if he was put in that position which naturally squeezes the bladder a little bit anyway, here's the cue, and then he would wee. Wendy Turner-Webster: I suppose that some mothers might say, well, is there a -- what's the point? Maggie Howell: Why bother. Wendy Turner-Webster: Why bother, quite frankly. Maggie Howell: Absolutely, and this is something which really is not going to be for 99% of the population, but the reason we did it was we follow attachment parenting approach. I have always carried my babies in sling, I sleep with my babies, I breastfeed them and as part of that, I wanted to be as in-tune within as possible. And when I heard that my child is communicating to me, I couldn't un-know that, I couldn't unlearn that. So I knew then that I wanted to be able to pick on that communication. Wendy Turner-Webster: You pick by the bug, isn't it? Maggie Howell: Exactly, it's sort of like when you find something else, you can't then -- Wendy Turner-Webster: Let it go. Maggie Howell: Exactly. So that was one reason. Second reason is it's much, much cheaper. Wendy Turner-Webster: True. Maggie Howell: So the cost of nappies is huge. It's much more environmentally friendly which wasn't a main driver for us, but we did think about that. It comes out in potty training. It comes out in a huge amount of frustration from both baby and from mum and it's actually quicker. Mums say to me, haven't you got anything better to do than sit and wait for your baby to wee? I am like, if only you knew how busy my life was, I have three kids, I run a wonderful business and I am out about all the time, it's much quicker to take him to do a wee which takes about 30 seconds, than to - at this age, to get him pinned down, undress, take all the clothes off of him, then he is wriggling often. So it actually, for us, has worked out easier. Wendy Turner-Webster: I was absolutely fascinated when I read about it and heard that you were going to come in and talk to me. So thank you for shedding that light on it. Maggie Howell: Most welcome! Wendy Turner-Webster: And you know if someone wants to follow that technique, I am sure the details will be on our website. So thank you for explaining it to me. Maggie Howell: Yeah, thank you! Wendy Turner-Webster: Thank you!