Host: What should I do if my child does not like who I am dating?
Gloria Macdonald: People often ask me what they should do if their child does not like the man they are dating. In this case, we are talking about maybe a ten year old son but it does not matter if it is a ten year old son, a 15 year old daughter whatever it is. You have to decide a) your children will always be a part of your life. You are not going to get rid of your children and that's an important consideration.
On the other hand, where are you going to draw the line? Are you going to allow your children to rule your life? Again, with all these questions around dating and children there are no black and white answers, there are no right and wrong answers. Each situation is individual and unique and you always have to do what's right for you.
But I highly recommend that you really think about what are your motives in making a decision and are you allowing your children to run your life because we can do that as parents. We can - especially, if there is any kind of guilt about having been through divorce and having your children now be in a household that split, don't let guilt rule your life and keep you from moving forward and don't let your children use you and wrap you around their little fingers.
So, it's a balance and you have to ask, why is it there is there this friction in the relationship? Why is it that your ten year old son does not like the man you are dating? Is there some little thing that you can do to correct that situation or does your child need some help? Does your child need to go to some counseling? You have to determine how serious the situation is. Maybe they just need to get used to one another, maybe there is something that you can suggest to your new partner to do that would help your child accept them a little bit more.
So, you really need to determine how grave a situation this is, is it something where the two people just need to get to know one another a little better, maybe they each need to be a little more flexible, maybe you can work with each of them, maybe your child really need some serious help. Look at the situation, understand what's causing the friction and then make a determination from there.
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