Why Can't We Get Married Or At Least Engaged?

[Music Playing] Jennifer: Dear Dan and Jennifer: I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. Both of us were divorced with kids and be patient guys this seems a little bit long. I am moving in our way from my work and my family to be closer to him. Dan: She is doing it! The thing we always hear about over “oh, too far”, she is doing it. That is cool. Jennifer: Yes. Now that I have shown my commitment by buying a house and moving closer to him, I would like for him to show his commitment and give me the ring. We do not intend to marry for several years but I would love that we are sharing with our children and families that we intend to get married on day. I am taking a huge step and that would be a wonderful representation of his efforts if we can have that symbol. Marriage is not important to him as he feels committed without it. How do I share and the ring is not a just material object to me without pushing him away? [Music Playing] Dan: This is again that same issue where one person -- we all see the world differently. I see the world -- whether you will see another, everyone sees it differently and try to control-- Jennifer: Perception. Dan: In trying to control how the other person perceives their life and the world is a dangerous thing. I mean by her count, she is three points ahead in the game right? He is lucky by two points. The home team is ahead by three points. Jennifer: Please do not keep scoring? Dan: Please do not give score. It is not a healthy thing. When you do something for love ones, for friend, for someone, you do it because you choose to do it. Take pride in doing it and move forward. Jennifer: Because she wants to act with love. Dan: Exactly, it is ultimate to take the responsibility for what you do and doing it because you choose too, not saying well I did this. Jennifer: Now you are going to do this. Dan: Now you are going to it. That is not a healthy thing or others I am going to say it is not healthy. Jennifer: It is not. Dan: And if I can just make another quick comment. [Laughing] No I was not done, it just seem that way. Jennifer: Yes dear, you may make a comment. Dan: Thank you dear, I love you. You are beautiful today. Okay this a very quick thing about showing that your family and your kids whatever that your two are loved, you do not-- I know that this feels important in society and precious medals companies and whatever did the diamond folks but so much emphasis in our society on having a thing that you can go show. Look mama, dad the guy. Jennifer: I did not look. Dan: I did it because I ultimate did that is what it is. Jennifer: He is won the price. Dan: Look I get to hold a stone, you got them, I did and I always not trying to be a harsh or whatever, I am just saying it is sign of the times in a suicidal thing which is really lame. Did just it is such a strong part of our society, you guys love each other. That is a wonderful blessed amazing thing, I am sorry. Jennifer: So basically having said all these in attack you for wanting a ring, okay. Dan: I did not attack her it just seems that way. Jennifer: It just seems that way. I recognize and Dan recognizes that this is important to you okay? And you want to communicate that importance to him so what you have to do is tell him just like you told us. Exactly what you told us, go copy your question to us in tell him that. The important thing is that you have to keep it about your feelings. Look, this is important to me, this is why, and this is how it would make me feel. Dan: Yes. Jennifer: You know, do not say well you need to do this because I did that. Dan: In my moms said I got to bring home a rock to show I got a guy. Jennifer: Right, right. Dan: That is not it. If you just say I feel that this is important to me, that is a whole different thing. Jennifer: We have a little thing in our relationship and it is called the want card. If you really, really want something, you get to play the want card whether it makes any logical sense or not. [Laughing] So and but, having said that. If you are goin