Hi! This is Dr. Diana Kirschner with ask YourTango answering your dating and relationship questions.
Today’s question is from Elizabeth41. He falls asleep when I’m trying to arouse him. Is this normal? Lately he has been working overtime and when we finally get a long time together, I start to get him aroused and he will fall asleep on me. Then I get mad and if he tries to wake me up for sex in the morning I will cut him off. I feel that if he was that into me, he would be able to stay awake to give me what I want. What can I do to get him to stay awake?
Well, the bottom line is that sex has got to be a win-win proposition. And there is a kind of myth that your guy is suppose to always be ready and always wants sex with you. You know if he is really feeling it for you, and that’s not true. Guys are not necessarily always wanting sex. You have to work out a win-win relationship and if you need sex at a certain time and he needs it at another time, you create a win-win relationship where you each get sexually fulfilled at the time and in the way that you want it. And the way you start this discussion is in a very, very loving sweet way. Well, you say, “Honey, I really, really, really love it, you know when we make love. I love it. It’s just so fantastic. And I want to think of a way where I could set it up so that you really get what you need and I really get what I need because it is amazing and you are amazing.”
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