Why Women Have Sex

Audra Lowe: Welcome back to Better, hi everybody I’m Audra, coming up next, the extra care your car needs this winter. And the true meaning behind some of your favorite songs, very interesting stuff there. First, if your 2009 sex life was stuck in a rot, it might be time to turn over a new leaf, Better’s relationship expert Whitney Casey sat down with author of “Why Women Have Sex,” her name is Cindy Meston. The 2 ladies talked about some of the top reasons women will have sex in the new year. Whitney Casey: Thanks Audra, okay so, this book I’ve been really looking forward to. There are apparently 237 reasons why women have sex. And why are they’re having sex in 2010, anything different from 2009? Cindy Meston: Oh, I don’t think, I don’t, may be there are a few extra reasons but I think the 237 covers quite a big range. Whitney Casey: Okay, so what are your favorites? Cindy Meston: Lots of revenge sex, women are having sex to get back at people who have betrayed them or who have irritated them at some level, lots of competition. Women are competing with each other to not necessarily even get the man for a relationship but just to see who can get the most desirable men at a club or a bar. They want to win the conquest. Lots of reason for sexual economics, trading sex for of course the usual things, money, jobs, promotions, but also¬ Whitney Casey: But also, just taking out the garbage bin. Cindy Meston: Yes. That is true. ¬ Whitney Casey: That was one of my favorite reasons, just getting the guy to do the garbage, women are trading sex. And these are with their partners or spouses, this isn’t with like a guy or may be it is. I mean, these studies are done with what kind of demographics? Cindy Meston: Ages 18 to 87, almost all of the United States, almost all of the Canadian provinces, 3 countries in Europe, Australia, New Zealand and Israel. Whitney Casey: So, this wasn’t just randomly on the street corner. Cindy Meston: No. Whitney Casey: This is some really good research. Cindy Meston: Yes, about 1000 women. Whitney Casey: But what were you most surprised about that women do? Cindy Meston: Well just really the sheer diversity, ranging all the way from the very altruistic sex of having sex just to please your partner, your not getting any gratification for yourself to the borderline evil of intentionally wanting to give someone a sexually transmitted infection. Whitney Casey: Oh, that’s not good. Cindy Meston: No, that’s not so nice. Whitney Casey: That’s really revenge sex. Cindy Meston: Yes. Whitney Casey: Okay, so, what’s really interesting to me though, there’s a misconception that women in, especially women who have been married for a long time don’t want to have sex. Is that true? Do you find that to be resoundingly true? Cindy Meston: Oh, well, no, I mean what you're talking about now is sex drive which you know is across the board from 20 to 80, there are people who desire sex less frequently than others. But no, women definitely are having sex, the main category of reasons have to do with physical gratification. They said sex is fun, is exciting, they wanted and orgasm, they wanted a pure physical pleasure. And contrary to the stereotype, the gender stereotype that’s been talked about for a long time which is men have sex for pleasure, women have sex for love and commitment. We did not find that gender difference there, just as many women as men who are having sex just for physical gratification¬ Whitney Casey: That’s huge. Cindy Meston: And commitment was even viewed as negative, and on the other side, there were just as many men as women who said that they often have sex because they wanted to feel connected to their partners, feel more emotionally close. Whitney Casey: That’s great news. Cindy Meston: Yes. Whitney Casey: For women to know, because you know that it isn’t just all about the physical connection for men that it really is an emotion connection for them. Cindy Meston: Right. Whitney Casey: Now one of the last things that we can cover real quick is, I thought it was really interesting the things that trigger a woman’s sexually and one of them is scent, that was like one of the highest things on a woman’s¬ Cindy Meston: That’s right, it was rated as, the number 1 of the senses of sexual attraction in women, more so than visual cues which of course is hands down the most important in men. But yes, scent, women are there’s been some fascinating evolutionary research in the last few years showing that women can detect all sorts of interesting information about the quality of a man’s genetic makeup though scent. Whitney Casey: Through their scent, so they can smell your genes, right? Cindy Meston: Exactly, they can smell your genes. Whitney Casey: Anyway, the book is so great. “Why Women Have Sex” 237 reasons to get it now, thank you so much Cindy. Cindy Meston: Thank you very much Whitney. Whitney Casey: Alright Audra, back to you.