Hi. This is Francisco Bujan from vitalcoaching.com. We are talking about dating successful women and the topic for this video is; Yes, guys like kind girls, and here is why. This might confuse you a little bit, maybe I do not know. Maybe you believe that the best way to get in touch with men and flirt with them is to be really bitchy, edgy and charms them all the time and that is partly true. I already said that in another video. Challenging them is really a good way to keep the energy going.
Now, you do not need to be extremely bad girl and challenge them into much of a hard way but having this kind of edge really works, you know, challenging them.
So, today, I want to give you the other side of the story and it is about kindness. It is simply about respect and who are we relating to guys which work as well because some women simply want to be kind with guys. You do not want to always be challenging them or being really bitchy with them. So, it is very important for you to know that there is a way for you to relate to guys if you are more of the kind type, a nice girl. Do you want to be a nice girl? Well, there is a possibility for you as well.
Here is how it works, when you are in a relationship or when you start interacting within the dating scene, within the dating environment. There is a balance of power which is established. It means that when a guy sees you, he will straight away kind of see where you stand on the power base, on the power level. The goal is really more less on the same level.
If this is the man, you want to be more or less on the same level as his. If you are too high above, you are going to intimidate him of course. If you are too low behind, he will loose interest. The goal is really to be on the level which more or less equal, slightly above or slightly under is okay but not too much of a bit difference. That is what you have to understand.
If you are attracted to a guy and you put yourself really down, you worship him like a God; obviously, he is going to lose interest because he is going to think, what is in it for me really? So, the goal is really to be on the same level. This is why sometimes, if you are too kind with guys, very often they might lose interest because they feel that it is too easy. They take you for granted and therefore they lose interest.
So, what you have to do is to add a little bit of edge, challenge them and have this kind of flirty attitude, teasing them, showing them that you do not take them too seriously and tease if you tend to be a little bit lower into the power will bring back the balance.
So, that they feel like here is a girl that I match and she really knows how, not simply takes me to search me and that is really good for guys. That is a very good way to protect them.
Now, if you are naturally kind, and you are naturally want to express that with your interaction with guys, you can express what we call act of kindness and this is simply responding to opportunities when you see that there is a possibility to help somebody without us being required or without this being really neat but simply because we want to make a gesture or kind gesture.
You can do that of course and you will notice that guys will respond to that especially when you are not supposed to. When it is not something that you have to do. For instance, if you are this very kind, exciting, successful girl and you see this guy who really needs a hand with something. Maybe you want to give him a ride because his car broke down or he can not money out of the money machine, and you just give him five bucks to take the bus or something.
These kinds of gestures can actually trigger lots of interest in guys and realize that here is a girl who is really kind and this triggers attraction. It is good to realize that this can happen in specific situations.
Now, what is very important is, do not go out of your way, to really make this big effort to help somebody. For instance, if you start dating a guy and you started sending him all these presents, you buy him a Rolex and these kinds of stuff usually a little bit of a turn off. I would tell you more about this why it is a turn off but for now, remember that.
The other thing that is important to realize. It is that if you project always kindness. That same aspect of your personality and eventually men tend to get a little bit bored. They want to have a bit more diversity and variation in your personality, in the character, in the way you put yourself. This is way it is very good to alternate different aspects of your personality and behavior.
Be sometimes more edgy, challenging, flirty, and sometimes when he does not expect it, give this kind of action that might surprise him. I hope this makes sense. You take care and have a great day. Bye.
Transcription by:
Scribe4you Transcription Services